Thursday, December 29, 2011

How to prevent your Divorce

With the divorce rate so high many couples who are in stormy marriages feel that there is no way to save my marriage. It’s easy to think that if all those people can’t make it we can’t either. If you still love your mate and you think that you are loved in return then your marriage has a good chance of succeeding.

There are two of you in the marriage and both of you must want to make it work. Following are some tips that can help bring you together again and increase the chances of your marriage lasting:

1. No marriage is perfect. Unlike fairy tales, typical marriages have their flaws just like each of us has. Do not expect perfection from each other. Accept that there will be lumps and bumps along the way.

2. Having a successful marriage requires that you both work at it to make it strong. The more work that you put into your marriage will result in an honest and happy relationship. Not taking this seriously can be detrimental. The areas that typically need the most work involve trust and respect in one another. Without these things, your relationship will fall apart.

3. Communicate with each other. Create an environment where you can talk and listen to each other without getting upset. Speak calmly and clearly about how you feel and allow your partner to do the same. Make sure to listen to what they have to say, regardless of what they say. Discuss how each of you feels and try to find common ground where both of you feel that you can find solutions for issues you are facing. The more open and honest you are with each other, the better.

4. Let the problems of the past stay in the past. Do not dwell on them. Do not let past mistakes or misunderstandings determine the future of your marriage. While your past problems may be quite serious, dwelling on them will not help your marriage. Focus on the here and now and take each day as it comes. Each day has enough problems of its own.

5. Be more conscious of one another. Be considerate of each other’s needs and feelings. You can make thoughtful gestures to simply show that you are thinking of them. If you are unsure as to what you should do for your spouse, ask them what you can do to make them happy. Doing something that will make them feel loved and special can go a long way towards strengthening your relationship. Sometimes doing the simplest things can mean the most to them.

If you have tried all of the above and still are asking how to save my marriage, a professional marriage counselor may be your best option. The decision to go to a counselor must be made by both of you as it will not work if you both do not participate fully.

If you are both truly committed to making changes to save your marriage, a counselor can offer unbiased advice to help you. By getting advice from counselor, it may help you see your problems in a different light and help you find solutions.

TEAM Daniel & Boaz
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Daniel & Boaz deals all kind of matrimonial problems giving 24*7 support for your legal needs.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Girl under 21 must get parents’ consent for marriage: Karnataka High Court

Observing that a girl below the age of 21 years cannot judge the character of a person she marries, the Division Bench comprising Justice Bhaktavatsala and Justice Govindaraju directed police to lodge a suo motu kidnapping case against the petitioner, Avinash of Sudhama Nagar.

The court further observed that a girl below 21 years of age must have the consent of the parents for her marriage. "Parents should choose the boy for a girl aged below 21, as it is they who bear the brunt of an unsuccessful marriage," the Bench said.

Terming as void Avinash's marriage with the girl without her parents' consent, the court levied a cost of Rs 10,000 on him. "The court cannot shut its eyes even when police fail to initiate action," the Bench said. On the petitioner's contention of illegal detention, the court said, "Parents keeping the child with them does not amount to illegal detention."

The girl's parents had lodged a complaint of kidnapping on February 7, 2011, with the Wilson Garden Police after their minor daughter, a second PU student, went missing on February 2 while on her way to college. Avinash had taken her to Krishnagiri where he married her on March 3, 2011, after she turned 18 on March 1.

On returning to Bangalore on March 28, he appeared before the police, who brokered peace between the two families by ensuring that the boy got to meet the girl twice a day and appeared before the police daily. However, when the girl's parents refused to abide by the deal and denied him permission to meet his wife, he filed a habeas corpus plea.

When the matter came up for hearing on Thursday, the Bench lashed out at the petitioner saying, "This is (the marriage) nothing but a case of kidnapping. If the marriage fails, the girl will return to her parents who are the actual sufferers."

The Bench said that parents protecting their child was not illegal detention. "The Hindu Marriage Act is not a contract. It needs permission from parents. (Avinash's case) is nothing but misuse of the girl and her age," the court said.
For information
TEAM Daniel & Boaz
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Saturday, December 24, 2011

NRI Husbands- The Dowry Victms

A growing number of Indian American husbands claim to be victims of an Indian law against dowry that has them vulnerable to exploitation - both financial and emotional - by their wives and in-laws.

The complaint is also reflected in support groups and blogs - ‘Batteredhusband’ and ‘Indianbakra’ - in the US, meant for male victims of the Indian legislation.

The anti-dowry law is being misused, say some husbands, while others allege extortion or vindictiveness by wives and their families when it comes to child support or custody.

NRI men apparently get harassed when their estranged wives go to India, at times illegally with the children, and file criminal cases against their ex-husbands with police.

NRI men are vulnerable, agreed a social rights activist here. Not only do they face demands for thousands of dollars to withdraw harassment cases filed against them but are also coerced to give US visas to the wives’ families, he added.

According to activists, there has been a dramatic rise in misuse of the law, with cases reported from the US, Britain and Canada.

The number of cases against Indian Americans has been significant enough for the State Department to publish a travel warning: “A number of US citizen men who have come to India to marry Indian nationals have been arrested and charged with crimes related to dowry extraction. Many of the charges stem from the US citizens’ inability to provide an immigrant visa to prospective spouses to travel immediately to the US.

“The (Indian) courts sometime order the US citizen to pay large sums of money to his spouse in exchange for dismissal of the charges. The courts normally confiscate the American passport and he must remain in India until the case has been settled.”

A group of victims and their friends in the US set up www.498a.org last year. Satya, 30, a victim-turned-volunteer and software engineer in California - who gave only his first name - maintains the site. The number of hits, he said, is an indication of the extent of the problem.

“In July alone we had 100,000 hits,” he said. “About 80 people from the US have filled up a form on the site seeking advice. There are 20 Canadian residents seeking help. We have had about 200 requests for help from the Delhi-Noida-Ghaziabad belt (in India) alone.”

Another victim, Rajeev Mehta, is an associate director of neonatology and associate professor of pediatrics at the Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick.

In April 1994, when the New Jersey-based physician met his now ex-wife, Nalini Michelle Gupta, he was one of the highest paid academic neonatologists in the US.

“Soon after we started living together. We got married in October 1994 because she was pregnant. Soon after the marriage, I discovered that she had had numerous failed relationships. I filed for a divorce when I realised that she and her family were using me,” Mehta said.

“After more than three years of divorce litigation in the US and having proved my case before the Superior Court of New Jersey, I obtained a divorce. The court awarded me sole legal custody of my children and determined that Nalini had been cruel towards me, had destroyed my well-paid job in New York and had fabricated a story of domestic violence to counter my divorce petition,” he added.

“Knowing that she was in serious trouble with US courts, Nalini decided to run away to India. In order to carry out the abduction of the children (aged 12 and nine), she claimed that her father was on his deathbed in India and his last wish was to see his grandchildren,” he said.

“In India, my ex-wife filed a false dowry case. For filing this case, she lied and claimed that her parents had given us gifts worth $12,000. She conveniently concealed the fact that ours was not an arranged marriage and we had met and lived together in the US prior to (marrying) solely because she was pregnant,” Mehta said.

Following his ex-wife’s abduction of his children, the US government revoked Nalini’s passport. On July 12, Interpol issued an alert for her, Mehta said.

The delay in the Indian judicial system did not make it easier.

Mehta has written to US Congressmen and Indian politicians and spent several thousands of dollars in legal fees. But he does not see any “resolution in the near future".

Some victims are not even aware of the provisions of the law, activists say.

Californian resident Bhavani Ramamurthy said: “In 2005 my brother’s wife left Texas for India with their child following some disagreement. Later I went to Chennai to attend my mother-in-law’s funeral.

“One day the police came to our home and said my sister-in-law was at the police station and wanted a reconciliation. When my mother and I went to the station, we found my sister-in-law there.

“The police officer turned abusive and took me and my mother into judicial custody. Even though I told the police that neither my mother nor I had ever lived with my sister-in-law, it did not help. Both of us were taken into judicial custody for seven days. The police also took my passport away,” she said.

Bhavani said she and her relatives had to bribe the police to expedite the legal process.

“We paid a lot of money at every stage. For them, we (from the US) were like golden ducks. Till this happened, I did not even know that such a law existed. What amazed me was that the police did not question any of the statements my sister-in-law made.

“We had to spend our days with petty criminals. The woman who made false statements got away scot-free and was not even charged with perjury. Everyone makes money. It is a form of legal terrorism. I still get nightmares thinking of my experience.”

Daniel & Boaz
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email: divorceadvocate@aol.in

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

498 A Misused

In the cases Preeti Gupta v. State of Jharkhand (decided on August 13, 2010) and Ramgopal v. State of M.P. (Order dated July 30, 2010) relating to Section 498A, the Supreme Court of India has observed that complaints are not always bona fide and are at time filed with oblique motive. The Court has, inter-alia, requested the Law Commission of India to examine different aspects of Section 498A including that of making it compoundable. Giving this information in written reply to a question in the Lok Sabha today Shri Salman Khurshid, Minister of Law & Justice, said that the Law Commission of India has considered the above decisions of the Supreme Court of India. As per the information received by the Commission, more than one lakh cases are pending. The subject relating to Section 498A has been discussed at the meeting of Law Commission of India held on 31st October, 2011 and in the light of deliberations, the Law Commission will prepare the Report which will detail the need to make the offense under Section 498A IPC ‘compoundable’ or not. The Report will also deal with other aspects relating to Section 498A such as making it bailable, process of arrest, conciliation etc.

From the desk of Daniel & Boaz
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Indian Govt to make easy about Divorce Laws

The Indian government has proposed a new law which will make it easier for couples to get divorced.

It has ordered that the country's Hindu marriage act should be altered to allow irretrievable breakdown of marriage as grounds for divorce.

Up until now, a divorce would in most cases be granted by the courts only if there were mutual consent.

Correspondents say that marriage breakdowns are becoming more common and India's divorce rate is increasing.

Minister of information Ambika Soni said that the proposed change in the law would help an estranged partner get a divorce "if any party does not come to court or wilfully avoids the court".

Last year the Supreme Court said the judiciary should strive to keep married people together, but it also ruled that couples who had completely split should not be denied a divorce.
'Raw deal'

The latest proposed amendment, passed by a cabinet meeting chaired by Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, will include irretrievable breakdown of marriage as a legal justification for divorce for the first time.

"In today's day and age it may be a welcome step but it will only really help urban women," Kamini Jaiswal, a Supreme Court advocate, told the AFP news agency.

"Rural women will still get a raw deal as they are more oppressed by their husbands.

"Divorce is definitely more socially acceptable in urban India," she said. "I have seen a rapid rise in divorces, but in order to obtain a divorce it can take anywhere from six months to 20 years."

Official figures on the divorce rate are unavailable but experts say that roughly 11 Indian marriages in every 1,000 end in divorce. The rate in the United States is about 400 in every 1,000.

From the Desk of Daniel & Boaz
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Saturday, December 10, 2011

Divorced woman can't use ex's name, rules HC

``What's in a name...'' The famous Shakespearean line from Romeo and Juliet popped up during an acrimonious divorce case on Wednesday. ``A lot,'' said an aggrieved man, ``especially when my ex-wife is misusing it''. The Bombay high court concurred and in a rare order that might make divorced men smile, directed the divorced woman to stop using her former husband's name and surname.

The HC further clarified: ``ex-wife cannot use the husband's name anywhere, including in her bank account''. The landmark judgment was passed by Justice Roshan Dalvi as she dismissed a petition filed by a woman challenging an interim order of the family court in Bandra.

R R Vachha, principal judge of the family court in Mumbai, had in September last year restrained the woman from using her ex-husband's name and surname as their marriage had ended four years ago. ``By using the ex-husband's name or surname, there is always a possibility of people being misled that she is still the wife, when in fact she is not,'' said Vachha. The HC upheld the family court order and said it need not be interfered with but should be given effect to ``for all purposes''.

The battle over names between the couple arose a year after the family court granted them divorce in February 2006 and the HC finalized it the same year. But the wife says she has moved Supreme Court where the matter is pending; she claimed she was still his wife.

The couple had begun their divorce fight in 1996 after staying together for a little over six months. When the woman filed for more maintenance after the divorce, the husband — a 49-year-old police inspector — contended through his lawyers Ramesh and Sadhana Lalwani that his ex-wife continued to use his name though she was no longer his wife legally and sought that she be restrained from doing so.

The man alleged that she was ``mischievously posing as his wife, entering into altercations and caused embarrassing situations for him''. He produced a news report from a local paper in his native village in Maharashtra about one such act of hers and said in villages where people were known by their family names, such behaviour affected not only him but his entire family.

He also argued that since the woman was not a wife anymore, she was not entitled to tag on her ex-husband's name and surname to her own as it would be misleading. The wife argued that her ex was merely being ``malicious and trying to malign'' her.

The family court held that ``the marriage had come to an end by virtue of theorders of two courts, but still the woman claimed to be the wife''. Observing that the issue arose out of a marital relationship, it restrained her from using the ex-husband's name.

The woman immediately moved the high court in appeal and said the family court order was wrong. Her lawyer Milin Jadhav, the HC said, ``fairly concedes that since the marriage has been dissolved by a decree for divorce which has become final, the wife cannot use the name of the husband''. He hadalso said that the bank account of the wife stood in both her maiden and married names.

Justice Dalvi observed that ``this itself shows that the wife uses the name of the ex-husband even after their marital relationship has been dissolved by a court order'' and significantly held that ``the description of the bank account was improper and the family court order had to be adhered to''.

From the Desk of Daniel & Boaz
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Your Daughters Birth Right

Gone are the days when daughters were dependent on mercy their male relatives for their share in the ancestral property. I am referring the finding of Supreme Court in case of Gaduri Amma & other Vs Chakri Yanadi & others Civil Appeal 8538 / 2011 dated : 12th October 2011.



The finding of the case law as under which any body can understand by simple understanding to law : -



1) Inheritance under Hindu Law is governed by Mitakshara Law through Hindu Succession Act, 1956 which is substituted by Hindu Succession (Amendment) Act, 2005 w.ef. 9th September 2004.



2) After this amendment the Hindu daughter has equal right in the ancestral property as good as a Son can have. Rather, it is true that in eyes of Law daughter and Son have exactly equal rights and share in property.



3) The marital status of daughter does not have any effect to her rights in ancestral property. (Married or unmarried or divorcee or deserted daughters have equal rights ..marital status does not have any impact in this regard.)



4) If a daughter dies before partition of ancestral property, then her children will have equal rights in property which the deceased daughter can enjoy as if she would be living.



5) Remember, the Mitakshara Law after amendment of 2005 (as above) will not effect in following conditions which means the daughters will not have rights under following conditions :



- Partition took place by registered partition deed before 20th December 2004.

- Court has passed the final decree on property division before 20th December 2004.



6) If a preliminary decree is passed in a partition case but final decree is not passed then the preliminary decree can be amended and a second preliminary decree can be prepared in light of amendment 2005. There is no confusion in this regard now and question of amending the preliminary decree is settled by this Judgment.



7) This judgment or amendment in Hindu law will no way give any right to sue the sons/father/ grand father for division made prior to passing of this Act because this amendment is not having retrospective effect.



It is very useful law for common public and people should be made aware specially daughters who should know their rights protected by Hindu Law.

From the Desk of Daniel & Boaz
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Divorce - vs - Annulment

There is a lot of confusion about the difference between a divorce and an annulment. There is also confusion between a legal annulment and a religious annulment.

A divorce is a legal end to the marriage -- deciding all issues involved in the closure of the marriage and often assigning fault to one of the parties for the end of the marriage. The end result of a divorce is dissolution of the marriage. An annulment is also an end to the marriage and entails all the decisions a divorce involves if needed -- property and debt division, custody, child support, and alimony. However, an annulment is a legal determination that the marriage was never valid in the first place.

An annulment determines that the marriage was not legal or valid when it was entered into and therefore never truly legally existed. The annulment legally erases the marriage, as if it never was. One important thing to note is that if you had children together during the marriage, the children are still considered to be legitimate -- conceived in and born into a legal marriage and legal child of both of you. Annulments are more common with very short marriages, where one or both parties realizes rather quickly that a mistake was made, but it is certainly not unheard of for a much longer marriage to end in annulment. Alimony cannot be awarded in a judgment of annulment, since the court is deciding there was no legal marriage to begin with.
More information on the divorce process:


The Divorce Process

How to Get a Divorce

Legal Ease

Annulments are not available because you've changed your mind, aren't happy, feel you made a bad decision, are abused by your spouse, or feel you've been treated unfairly. There has to be a legal basis for determining the marriage was not valid. In most states, the legal process for an annulment is much like that for a divorce. Similar papers are filed and similar hearings are held. An annulment can be contested, just as with a divorce. However, annulments are often agreed upon by both parties, and since they usually happen very early in a marriage, the process is generally quick and easy. Annulments are not very common, but a lot of people seem to think they ought to be able to get one. In fact, an annulment is really the exception to the rule and very few people actually do get them.

Reasons for Annulment

Each state has its own requirements for granting an annulment, but usually include the following:

One spouse was underage at the time of the marriage
One spouse misrepresented him- or herself to the other in some significant way (this often involves fraud of some kind)
One spouse was mentally ill at the time of the marriage
One spouse is unable or unwilling to consummate the marriage
The parties are related to each other in a way that prevents marriage in that state
One spouse was already married to someone else at the time of the marriage
One spouse concealed or withheld important facts, such as having a disease, having previous children, being infertile, and so on.
You can contact the Daniel & Boaz Team @ 9962999008
email: divorceadvocate@aol.in

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Woman seeks divorce from impotent husband, Rs 1cr alimony

From the Desk of Daniel & Boaz
Claiming that she was cheated into marrying an "impotent" man, a 24-year-old woman has moved the family court here seeking divorce from him and Rs 1 crore as permanent alimony.
According to the woman, her in-laws had suppressed the fact that their son suffered from some "hereditary sexual problems" and that he was physically incapable of performing his conjugal responsibilities towards his prospective wife. She claimed that she also had to quit her software job on the insistence of her in-laws.
The Kilpauk-based woman said that from their nuptial night in May 2008 onwards, her husband maintained a distance from her and his parents also slept with the couple in the same room for many months continuously.
Besides this mental cruelty, she alleged, her mother-in-law made her to do all household chores and ensured that she was engaged in some work throughout the day. The petitioner's counsel George Williams also alleged that her father-in-law too behaved indecently when she was alone in the house.
Noting that her parents had spent more than Rs 11 lakh on the marriage, besides spending a huge sum on purchasing 30 sovereigns of gold jewellery and other silver and household items, she said she was also harassed for dowry by her in-laws.
The marriage remained unconsummated in view of the fact the couple could not enjoy the conjugal pleasure, she said, adding that she was harassed both physically and mentally besides being subjected to dowry harassment.
She cannot value her loss and agony in terms of money, the woman said, adding that, however, she quantified the agony as Rs 1 crore for the purpose of payment of permanent alimony. She wanted the court to dissolve the marriage on the ground of cruelty and direct her husband to pay a permanent alimony of Rs 1 crore to her.
The II additional judge for the family court, Narayanasamy, adjourned the matter to September 16 for further proceedings.
George Williams has also filed a separate petition in the Madras high court, seeking a direction to the All Woman Police Station at Madipakkam to register a complaint lodged by the woman on July 4, and initiate criminal proceedings against her husband, father-in-law and mother-in-law.
Noting that her entire life lay in tatters owing to the "fraud played upon her", the woman said the perpetrators must be proceeded against and their harassment be investigated by the police.
She claimed that though the police received her complaint and issued her a community service register (CSR) number, they did not register any first information report despite the fact that she underwent a virginity test as directed by them. The police, she said, asked her husband also to undergo a medical test.
All such victims can contact:
Daniel & Boaz @ 8428391400

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Post Divorce Advice For Men

Not all men who have had a successful divorce are happy. Some loved their wife so much but there's nothing that can be done to quickly plug that hole in their heart. It's a despair having your kids away from you, and you can only see them from time to time. Living in a home not with your family is saddening for most men and dangerous fro their mental health. It's a different experience right after divorce and you can't just bring back all how beautiful the family has started. Most men who just had a divorce would suffer several issues. Post divorce advice for men is something all men after divorce need - but are often too to seek.

Feelings of Men After Divorce

It is a myth that men would feel freedom after marriage. Sometimes the allegation is true that a husband cheated his wife for a younger one, he feels remorse and regrets having done it. Often times there seems to be no way of knowing why the divorce happened leaving the man feeling even more trapped by the state of events than free of any marriage contract. Men have sensitive emotions too. As humans, they could fall into temptation without thinking of the consequences. Wives who leave their husbands will cause a great sorrow for him. Men don't want to live and be alone. It is shown in statistics that divorced men are likely to cause suicide. Who wouldn't? All his dreams are shattered and his family will be abandoning him soon now.

Managing Life After Divorce

After a great turmoil, it's just right to get out of your shelter and see the world in a different light. There are things that you don't expect will happen and you need to move on. Divorced men still have their lives and there are more to it. Remember that if they don't take a step forward, they'll only be stagnated in their condition. What has happened can't be brought back again but the important thing is the lesson learned from the experience. Think that if this didn't happen, you'll not be able to value the importance of relationships. A relationship not nurtured will easily break off. For your next relationship, you will know how to deal well with your spouse and avoid things that could damage the relationship. All these are hard but with perseverance and motivation, everything will be alright in time.

Learn From Self-Guide Books

Men usually aren't open and versatile than women. They don't just divulge their feelings to their friends and let all the pain out. This is their way of protecting their manhood. Post divorce advice for men is available in self-guide books. Book on men after divorce will help you understand the life of a man after divorce. You can find support from these books to help you come out from your pathetic self. Let these be your guide in your everyday struggle towards healing. At a very affordable price, you will feel secured and confident because of the learning you can get from the book.

For Clarification Call Daniel & Boaz:- 9962999008
email:- divorceadvocate@aol.in

Friday, October 28, 2011

How to get married foreigners in India

This Special Marriage Act permits marriages between persons who are not of the same community or who have different religions or nationalities. The scope of the Act includes the entire territory of India and extends to intending spouses who are both Indian nationals living abroad. The groom must be at least 21 years old, while the bride must be at least 18 years of age. Both parties should have full mental capacity and not be currently married. Parties to the marriage must provide notice of their intention to solemnize the marriage before a marriage officer in the district where at least one of the parties has resided for at least 30 days prior to the notice. Notice of the intended marriage is entered into the Marriages Notice Book, which is open for public inspection with an inspection fee. The public has the right to object to the marriage for the following 30 days. Any objections must be investigated and resolved within an additional 30 days.

Prior to the solemnization of the marriage, the parties and three witnesses must sign a declaration in front of a marriage officer, who will also sign the document. The marriage may be solemnized in any form that the parties wish to adopt as long as the solemnization occurs at the marriage officer's office or any place that the marriage officer sanctions. The marriage must include the exchange of the following statement: "I (name of self) take you (name of partner) to be my lawful (wife or husband)." After the solemnization, the marriage officer will enter the certificate in the Marriage Certificate Book. The parties and the three witnesses must sign the certificate. The entry of the certificate in the book is deemed conclusive evidence of a lawful marriage.

Any marriage in India may be registered under this Act. The parties must jointly apply for the marriage registration. After 30 days of notice to the public, the marriage officer will enter the certificate into the Marriage Certificate Book. The spouses and three witnesses must sign the certificate.
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Wednesday, August 10, 2011

45 % rise in divorce by mutual consent

Article from Times of India
When marriages break down and couples want to end it with as little trauma as possible, divorce by mutual consent is what many are opting for.
As such divorce cases by mutual consent have gone up in the past five years, statistics from the family court in Pune show.Of the total number of divorce cases filed every year since 2005, petitions under mutual consent constituted over 65 per cent. From 729 petitions in 2005, the number went up to 1,130 in 2010, a rise of about 45 per cent. Till this February, 100 cases were registered.
In another alarming trend, counsellors said that over 50 per cent of mutual consent divorce petitions were from couples who had not completed three years of marriage.
Lawyers dealing with such cases said that couples with irrevocable differences prefer divorce by mutual consent as it goes a long way in saving time, money and effort. Besides, it is less traumatic, they added.
The divorce can come through in six months. Advocate Sunil Kotlikar, vice-president of the Pune Bar Association, said, "Usually, a divorce can take years to come through. When it is by mutual consent, allegations and counter-allegations are withheld, finances are sorted out and custody issues of children are amicably decided."
The in-laws are not dragged into it, unlike cases where the woman has filed for a divorce citing cruelty under Section 498 (A) of the Indian Penal Code, he added.
"At the end of six months, the couple's advocate files an affidavit before the family court accompanied by the counsellor's report and the couple go their own ways. This saves a considerable amount of time, money and effort, besides being beneficial from the children's point of view," he said.
The sad part is that mutual consent divorce leaves no chance for any attempt to save the marriage, the staff at the family court said. According to a senior marriage counsellor, the rate of reconciliation between couples filing for divorce under the mutual consent clause is as little as 3-4 per cent, In other divorce cases, it is 16-18 per cent. "Cases of reconciliation are only a few as little effort is made to engage the couple in a dialogue. Moreover, the real reasons for the estrangement emerge rarely," said Kotlikar.
It happens because both have decided to separate and going through the counselling procedure to look at a possible reconciliation is only a formality. "The partners have already closed their minds to the possibility of giving their marriage a second chance," he said.

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Monday, July 25, 2011

Think Before Divorce

Before moving on with what you need to know about divorce, the next few paragraphs will ask you to look before you leap if you find yourself wanting out of your marriage. Choosing to divorce might ultimately be your decision, but it should be one made in a state of calm with little doubt and few regrets.

When someone approaches me and says he or she wants a divorce, my first reaction is to say, “Are you sure?” Decisions made in haste can take on lives of their own, and before you know it, there may be no turning back to save your marriage. Deep down we all know when we are at peace with the decisions we’ve made- big and small. Sometimes we listen to our gut and sometimes we don’t.

When we make decisions and take action while our doubt mechanism is in full gear, we know we will eventually pay for it. To avoid this scenario, respect the little voice inside you, if it says “wait.” Your gut instinct is asking you to reevaluate the situation before making your decision. Before making this significant change in your life take a good look at yourself and your concept of marriage.

When you’re looking at the choice to divorce, forget all about the idea of the romantic fairy tale. It’s time to take a good look at marriage and understand what it really takes to make this type of partnership work. Depending on how realistic and honest you are when evaluating your situation, when it comes to a divorce, you may find that the grass may not always be greener on the other side. For a good dose of reality, sit down and write out a pro and con list of staying married vs. the realities of divorce and being single.

Consider the following: children, your career status and ability to make money, finances, life style changes, cost of divorce, being single again and the threat of sexually transmitted diseases once you’re back on the dating circuit. (You may be thinking, “I never want to date again, but trust me, you will.)

Consider the following:

Have you gone to marriage counseling?
Have you and your spouse taken the time to talk and isolate the real problems of the marriage?
Do you really listen to each other or just nag, complain and tune out?
How well do you compromise and try to find time for enjoying quality time together?
How productive or destructive are your methods of fighting?
Do you kiss and make up without holding grudges?
Are you teammates working toward the same goals?
Are you both willing to work on your issues together?

Writing out the answers to these questions will help guide you in making an educated, rational decision. Divorce is difficult, but it might be your best option and worth the temporary discomfort of transitioning into a new life. The process of honest evaluation will help you experience more peace and have fewer doubts regardless of your decision.

Further clarification contact: 9962999008

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Why womens are not seeking divorce when their husbands live in Adultery?

The Hindu Marriage Act provides that any marriage solemnized, whether before or after the commencement of this Act, may, on a petition presented by either the husband or the wife, be dissolved by a decree of divorce on the ground that the other party is living in adultery.

What is Adultery?

Adultery means Sexual intercourse between a married person and a third party. Adultery is when a woman has voluntary sexual intercourse with a person other than her husband, at other places adultery is when a woman has voluntary sexual intercourse with a third person without her husband’s consent.

A divorce can be granted if it is proven that one partner in a marriage has had an affair and committed adultery, defined as having had sexual intercourse with a person of the opposite sex other than their spouse, and if the spouse finds it intolerable for the marriage to continue.

When applying for divorce on grounds of adultery, it is necessary to provide the courts with as much evidence as possible about the alleged adulterous affair, such as places and dates. If the partner who has had the affair or affairs does not contest the divorce, then it will usually be granted with little difficulty. However, if the divorce is contested, detailed evidence will be required to satisfy the courts that the affair actually occurred, and the process may be lengthy and expensive. It is not necessary to name the ‘co-respondent’ – the person with whom the adulterous affair took place – and many lawyers advise against doing so as it may cause unnecessary delay and additional expense if the co-respondent contests the petition. There is often little reason for a co-respondent to cooperate, particularly as they may be ordered to pay a portion of the court costs if a divorce is granted.
It is very difficult to produce direct evidence to prove an act of adultery. Adultery is a matrimonial offence as well as a criminal offence. The requirement of proof in a criminal case is stricter than the requirement in a matrimonial case. In the former case the act is to be proved beyond reasonable doubt, whereas in the latter the evidence is based on the inferences and possibilities.
Thus the offence of adultery may be proved by:
1. Circumstantial evidence
2. By evidence as to non-access and birth of a child
3. By evidence of visits to brothels
4. By contracting venereal diseases
5. Confession and admission to parties; and
6. Preponderance of probability
Hence in proving the adulterous act of the spouse many have not suggested to file divorce on the basis of adultery.

The author Mr.Satish Kumar can be contacted at divorceadvocate@aol.in

Friday, July 22, 2011

Social network now becames evidence in Child custody

Child custody battles can get contentious, but one couple took that to an extreme recently. Amid the messy Child Custody dispute, a woman apparently created a fake Facebook account to catch her ex-husband in a lie. It worked at first, but the tables were later turned.
The 29-year-old woman reportedly created a Facebook account for a fake 17-year-old girl with the phony name "Jessica Studebaker" and then friended her ex-spouse. She apparently initiated an online conversation with him with the hope of producing evidence that he is an unfit father.
The social networking site now becomes a evidence making tool for the unfair couples in divorce cases.

By Team Daniel & Daniel
Helpline:- 9962999008.

Older men still play games. Beware of internet dating.

Can I just begin by saying that I love men, and I would not tar all men with the same brush, but I might beat most of the them with the same stick.

My comments for the purpose of this article are aimed at older women.

Ladies, don’t you think that men, at the mature and life experienced age of their early fifties, would have abandoned the idea of talking vebal…. vebal what? yes verbal that!

Well alas, it may not be so, still pours forth.

I read in the paper recently, an article about separation and relationships and a very interesting statement was made, ‘men give love for sex, women give sex for love’.

And they are still doing it, years later, when they should know better.

Let take a loose example, a lady in her late forties, is separated/divorced. She is partly or wholly through the mayhem that ensues, she has become lonely for companionship and attention, and decides the time is right to go back into the world of dating. But where does she go? All her friends are married or attached and the only interest she receives is from pat the postman, who is short and giddy, and frankly does nothing for her.

So she turns to the world of internet dating. It should come with ‘buyer beware’ stamped all over it!

Wouldnt you think that the older men are now matured and looking for companionship too. Yes, yes, before you shout at me, all the men out there, we know YOU are different

Well the simple answer is no, there are still older men out there, who havent a notion in hell of settling down, committing or being Mr Right.

Loads of Mr Wrongs out there im afraid.

And just as the simple things in life are free, and simple uncomplicated advice can be best, this is mine.

Beware the man that jumps, or should I say appears to jump in too soon. Declaring undying love, coming out with the ‘old one’, ‘I will always bthere for you’, and having the audacity to discuss future trips to Italy. ALL ON THE FIRST DATE.

Run away, or if you are mad about him, at the very least, don’t go along with it. Tell him you are flattered but he must slow down and its way too soon to talk like that. Even if your heart is leapfrogging all over your body, and your hormones have regressed to the mental age of 17, shut up and smile a little condescendingly and nod.

Say nothing, zip it, dont reciprocate, and whatever you do, DON’T go to bed.

If you do, chances are the very next day, he will tell you how ‘lovely you are’, but he has a lot on at the moment, and he doesnt see the relationship going anywhere.

Yes, it can happen to you.

Sorry, just careful, and yes i’m afraid, you still have to play stupid games, that you long to leave behind with your teenage years.

Written by : Lynnmargaet
Contact Divorce Advocate at email: divorceadvocate@aol.in
Ph:- 9962999008

Wife is always right, says SC

Husbands wanting to lead a happy married life can rely on some useful tips given by the Supreme Court, the most important being: "Do what the wife tells you and never question her authority." The words of wisdom came from two ‘Bhuktbhogi’ judges -- Justices Markandey Katju and Deepak Verma -- during the inconclusive hearing of a 17-year-old divorce litigation between a serving Lieutenant Colonel and his wife. The vacation Bench comprising these two judges asked the counsel whether there was any scope of compromise between the two and both in unison gave different reasons to say that there was no possibility for a happy ending to their dispute. The wife's counsel said that the Rs 10 lakh offered by the husband for complete settlement of the dispute and divorce was too little as it was not easy to bring up a teenaged daughter. She was married in 1991 and was allegedly thrown out of the house in 1992 after which he had moved the court for divorce. While the trial court dismissed his divorce plea, the HC had allowed judicial separation. But on her appeal against this order, a division Bench of the HC had granted divorce to him. Terming this order as erroneous, she had moved the apex court. The husband had an altogether different story to tell. She had filed several criminal cases against him that included charges like -- `he takes bath like a dog' and `he commits sodomy'. The counsel said he had fought the cases for over 17 years and had been exonerated of all charges. "He has been ruined financially and professionally, but still wanted to settle by giving Rs 10 lakh to her for a divorce," he added. Justice Katju, while adjourning hearing on the case, decided that it was time for the husband to get a few tips from him about how to lead a happy married life. "You should always agree with her. When you agree to what she says, you will always remain happy. If she tells you to look this way, do that. And if she tells you the next moment to look the other way, again do that," Justice Katju said much to the amusement of the lawyers who were waiting their turn to argue their case before the vacation Bench. And to convince them about the usefulness of his advice, Justice Katju said: "We are talking from experience (Hum sab bhuktbhogi hain)." The writer can be contacted at : advocatechennai@gmail.com or Ph: 9962999008.

Divorce support for men. Dealing with divorce and separation.

Article by M Porteous

With the statistics showing that divorce is at an all time high the level of support for divorcees has skyrocketed to help people get through this very difficult time in their lives and find a way to move on. Unfortunately that level of support is extremely skewed to help women, not men dealing with divorce! So with divorce support for men so low what does a man after divorce do? OR perhaps more importantly what should they NOT do!

The first problem most guys face is coping with the reality of being a divorcee. This can sometimes take some time to sink in and before the realization settles men can go through a wide range of emotions and actions. Many can refuse to believe they are really divorced, in their hearts they are still married even if they do not feel in love and others feel in love but feel separated. To cope with these things men will usually do one of two things: Nothing or Everything! When they do nothing they can become deeply depressed and a recent statistic shows they are much more likely than the woman to commit suicide, whether this stems from the lack of support for men compared to women or just that men are more susceptible to these things is unclear but since men are usually creatures of action doing the opposite can be very detrimental to their mental health.The opposite effect is that the man tries to cope with this new situation by doing as much as he can with his life so he does not have to focus on his emotions. A great focus on work or on socializing or some other activity to keep himself busy becomes the main goal in the mans life. While this can be better than the lethargy of depression men often do things they regret during this period such as; sleeping around to fill the void of intimacy, alcoholism, getting into fights, and of course not resolving their emotional conflict.To compound these issues women are more likely to have a social network of friends they can rely on to help them emotionally whereas the man will not have the relationships with his friends to talk about such things and the man himself may not feel comfortable looking for help from other men even professionals.

So where is a divorced man suppose to go for help? There may be no perfect advice for men after divorce and while we can generalize on the character of males we are all different enough that we all need different solutions. The best advice I have heard however that man is is a natural problem solver, give a man the information and tools he needs to solve a problem and he will eventually build something that works. Divorce support for men may simply be giving a man as much easily accessed information so he can occupy himself with solving his own problems. Men dealing with divorce and separation may always be seen as lesser problem than the women but thanks to the internet it is much easier for men to access the help they need without the social stigma and embarrassment they might feel in real life.

email:- divorceadvocate@aol.in Divorce Advocate Helpline:- _919962999008